Satan Made My Dad A Civilian

 I’m looking at the weather site and examining the temps over the next few days.  Check it out.  But hey… Satan says we can have a cold snap on Saturday!
 
I really want to exercise and I can’t re-join my gym due to watching my budget right now.  So I figure I can always do the good ole freebie stand by… walking.  The problem?  I’m going to have to go walking at 4:30 am.  The reason?  Because that is the coolest time of day here in the summer.  It’s still dark out and the temp gets down to the 80’s.  Yes that’s right kiddies…. that is the lowest temp in the day here and it doesn’t cool off till the wee hours of the morning.  What’s sad is the temp already starts going up by 5:00 am.
 
When my parents still lived in California I remember complaining about the heat in Phoenix and that you can’t even go out at night because it is still 100 degrees at 10 o’clock at night here.  My dad being the smart ass he is, would tease me and mimic that line back to me and my mom all the time and laugh his ass off.  He thought I was totally exaggerating and being dramatic.
 
After my mother retired and they moved out here, the smart ass finally got a taste.  I remember my mom saying to me, “I get up and go outside to get the newspaper at 6:00 am and I swear to God it feels like high noon.  High noon at 6:00 am!!”  I just smiled and said, “I told you, Satan lives here.”
 
They had moved here during the summer which is a big shock to the system.  Think about all the running around you have to do when you first move somewhere…. they had to get a place to live, then go and open up new bank accounts, get their car registered, emissions test, had to get a new military base sticker, and all the other crap you have to do.  I remember telling my parents to be sure to take it easy and drink lots of water.  Of course my dad was like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah…. you’re talking to someone who is Army trained, been around the world three times and seen everyone twice.”  His favorite line by the way.
 
So it was funny as hell when I would call their house around 3:00 pm and my mom would tell me my dad was worn out and taking a nap.  But sweet revenge came when one day he really wanted to wash the car but it was just too hot out to do it.  My mom suggested he just do it at like 9 or 10 o’clock at night.  But then he came back in and whined how it was still hot out and still in the triple digits. 
 
It was then when I mimicked his lines back to him and said things like, “But I thought you were Army trained big guy?  You sound like a pussy civilian.”  My mom couldn’t stop laughing.
Advertisements

Wanna See Something Scary?

How about me with no make up on and how my hair looks when I let it air dry without styling it?  Yes, I’m THAT bored today. 
 
I think I’m going to do a major house cleaning today – scrubbing every inch of this dump.  Closets, drawers, fridge, floors, walls… everything.  I want to seriously go out and do something a lot more interesting than that but it’s so friggin hot out.
 
I think I need to get some friends together and go river tubing down the salt river this week.  I haven’t done it in ages and I’m ready for some more fun.  At least you can stay cool in the water.

Ever See The Movie Scanners?

Well I woke up with a hideous migraine this morning that felt just like this.  Add on water retention making my already existing canckles look like even bigger canckles.  Cramps that officially turn into the dungeon master, bending me over the couch and screaming at me, “Who’s your daddy bitch?!” 

My body feels like it’s been in that longest fight scene ever recorded.  Not to mention other symptoms produced by my hormones that snicker and whisper behind my back with things like, “Just wait till the day you get pregnant bitch. This is just a preview of our power.”
 
It’s enough to make a woman cranky as hell or at your mercy in tears.  This is why I need a boyfriend, to gently rub my sore boobies at night.  You laugh, but I’m serious.
 
I blame that mofo Chuck Norris
 
And on that note of pain, Chuck Norris and how boyfriends can help out… I thought of that song “Fuck The Pain Away” by Peaches. 

What makes this version more special is it is set to Miss Piggy singing it and it’s freaking hilarious.  Especially towards the end of the video when she sings the title line.  The editing was spot on perfect!!  (Obviously not work friendly so have the volume on low or your headset on.)

What's Your Sign?

I have a variety of tastes in all kinds of music, but lately though I have been listening to more stuff from the 70’s.  Ahh those glorious 70’s with tube tops, bell bottoms, smiley faces, burnt orange and the top pick up line was “What’s your sign?”
 
It’s kind of interesting when you look at the artists of the 1970’s and you see they are not the most attractive people around.  How unfortunate that the music of today is based more on “eye candy” and sex instead of talent.
 
I’ve just been in the mood for these songs these days and what I’m listening to. 
 
Evergreen by Barbara Streisand – ok I have a love/hate relationship for this woman.  I cannot stand her but I do think she is very talented.  I really love this movie, love this song and love this scene with her and Kris Kristofferson.  When he stops singing to just watch her…  I am a such a sucker for love stories like this.  I don’t like long hair and facial hair but Kris is really cute in this movie.
 
If You Could Read My Mind by Gordon Lightfoot – A sad but beautiful song.
 
Castles In The Air by Don McLean – What a sad but yet empowering song.  I really like this guy’s voice and this is one of his best songs.
 
When Will I Be Loved by Linda Ronstandt – Another woman I can’t stand personally but I do like her voice.  A song I can definitely relate to lol.
 
Livin’ Thing by ELO – I have always been a fan of ELO.  I just like their sound so much and pretty much anything they sing.
 
More Than A Feeling by Boston – Who doesn’t like this song?  I think this song just kicks ass in so many ways.  The just whole line of “Marianne walking away…” Beautiful.  
 
You’re My Best Friend by Queen – I really do miss Freddie.  This band was just brilliant.  I know that there are much better songs by Queen but I do like this one.  I like the words.  I’m still looking for my best friend.
 
Nights In White Satin by The Moody Blues – I just love, love, love this song.  Love the music and lyrics.  Very pretty.  This song just gets to me.  Here’s a great live version as well.
 
Lady by Styx – Another pretty one.  I have heard these guys are really good in concert.  Here is another live performance, the quality isn’t that great but the piano playing in the beginning is good and Dennis cracked me up when he gets Miss Piggy.
 
Blinded By The Light by Manfred Mann – I don’t know what it is about this song but I just have always liked it.  I dig the music to it.  The lyrics were always a puzzle to me but later learned that Springsteen wrote it about characters he came across early in his career.
 
Kiss You All Over by Exile – This song is just very beautiful.  Awesome lyrics, singing and music.  It’s one of my favs.  Again, I’m a sucker for romance.
 
Tiny Dancer by Elton John – I pretty much like anything by Elton John but I have to say, he was at his best in the 70’s.  I believe this song was written by Bernie Taupin (Elton’s friend and song writer) about a dancer on Elton’s tour that later became Bernie’s wife.
 
Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks – Rough but feminine.  The link is to an awesome live version.  I think this song may have been recorded in 1980.  And just a little fun fact… Stevie is from Phoenix and as far as I know still lives here.
 
I’m Not In Love by 10cc – This seems to be something I can relate to lately.  Pretty powerful lyrics in what he is saying but obviously he is feeling the opposite.
 
Lotta Love by Nicolette Larson – Yes this is kind of a fluffy, easy listening song but I still love it.  Lyrics are right on the money. 
 
Him by Rupert Holmes – Now of course I LOVE the Escape song quite a lot but I do dig this corny one too.  It reminds me when my parents would play with each other and my mom would tease my dad that she was having an affair when they listened to this song.  What’s even more funny is my dad would sing “Ruby Don’t Take Your Love To Town” at her sometimes.

Lloyd Dobler Meets Charlie Mackenzie

I had two dates this week.  Well one was an actual date and the other was more like a meet and greet.  These were both interesting to say the least.
 
The first date was with a guy I met off of Match.com and I’m going to call him Mr. Rich Canadian.  We talked on the phone for a bit and set up a date.  We decided to meet at one of the restaurants at the Biltmore Fashion Square in Phoenix since he lived on the east side and I on the west.
 
The restaurant was nice, dinner was good and Mr. Rich seemed like a pleasant guy.  The problem?  All he did was talk about himself the entire time.  About his job, how successful he was, that he’s Canadian and has a house there and has a house here in Phoenix and planning on building a third here, how he spends most of his time playing golf, his cars, how much he travels and on and on.  I was polite.  I listened and continue to ask questions about him and contribute to the conversation as much as I could.  The guy didn’t ask me one damn question about myself almost the entire time.  It wasn’t until after he finished his meal before he finally asked me something about myself.
 
It reminded me of when I briefly attended DeVry when I first moved here and some guy pursued me pretty hard to go on a date with him.  I finally agreed and he did the same thing.  Spent the entire time talking about himself and how great he was.  It wasn’t until he finished eating that he finally and abruptly asked me a question.  Oh and what a wonderful question it was, “So… tell me your life story.”  Uh… yeah ok.  Two min. after getting into something about myself, he would interrupt and revert the conversation about himself again.  Jerk.
 
I have run into a few of these.  What is it with these guys?  Do they feel the need to over impress me or something?  I’m not into money and status.  Don’t get me wrong, money is nice and does make life more comfortable and secure, but it is not why I date men.  I’d be just as happy dating someone who was didn’t make all that much money in their line of work, just as long as they were not lazy and without any goals in life.  I would love to be proud of my guy and see him do well but it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be like this guy and shove all of your achievements at me.
 
But then I wonder if I’m being too judgmental.  Maybe these guys are just really, really nervous being on a first date and so they become Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything with the “nervous talking thing.”  I just find it odd that you are going on a first date to meet someone new and you don’t care enough to know about the other person sitting across from you.  Maybe these people have become so successful and use to people just listening to them that they have forgotten how to really communicate.  Or maybe he just wasn’t feeling me so there was no interest.  I don’t know…. but I do know this, it’s a major turn off.  Will I be dating him again?  That’s a no-go.  I don’t care how many cars or homes you have.
 
The second guy I met off of eHarmony and if you have ever been a member of that one, then you know it’s a long drawn out process to communicate with someone on such a controlling site.  I’ll call him Mr. Reservist.  He is in the Army Reserves and just came back from Iraq where he performed as a medic.  His civilian job now that he is back has something to do with working in a blood lab. 
 
When we finally got passed all the eHarmony red tape we talked on the phone.  We had a great conversation and then decided to meet quickly over coffee.  When I saw him in person, and this is going to sound shallow, I was disappointed.  He really did not look anything like his picture and he only had one on the site.  He was very pudgy, had facial hair and dressed like a slob.  I wasn’t attracted to him.
 
We met at a location and then we got in his car to drive around and look for the restaurant of our choice.  I have to say this and it will make me sound bad again.  He smelled weird.  His car smelled weird.  Not like foul or body order or anything like that.  Kind of like when you go inside someone’s home for the first time and it just has it’s own smell?  It doesn’t smell like anything in particular, it’s just a smell.  I kept thinking of that line with Mike Myers character in So I Married An Axe Murderer and he broke up with a girl because she “smelled like soup.”
 
This guy was much more personable though.  He was very interested in a two way conversation.  Very friendly.  Very nice guy.  We actually had some really good conversation. But…. I just wasn’t attracted to him.  I know that sounds bad but I know my taste and I just couldn’t see myself kissing him or anything else for that matter down the road.  I can’t fake something like that and pretend.  The most I think I could be with this guy is yes, that dreaded word men hate to hear… “friends.”  He looked VERY different from the picture he had on the site – so in a way, he actually misled me.  It must have been a very old photo.
 
Later when he walked me to my car, I could tell he was hoping for a kiss and so I went in for the hug instead and told him it was nice meeting him.  He then asked me if I would like to go out again.  Damn!  Just inches from a clean get away.  This is awkward.  How do you answer this with someone you have no intention on seeing again and not hurt their feelings?  I told him, “I’m not really too sure about that at this point. I’m not sure we are a good match.  But It was nice meeting you.”  Obviously he was disappointed and I felt bad.
 
Ahh well.  Not everyone digs me either.  It’s called dating.

There's Two O's In Goose

I love when the pay channels on Dish TV throw on some random movies from the 80’s.  Today it was Top Gun.  No commercials, uncut and perfect.  This is one of my favorite movies and even though it is an overrated military movie with a typical Hollywood ending, I don’t care.  I still love it.  I like the actors, the story, the music, the humor and all the flying.
 
I originally saw this movie when it first came out in either ’86 or ’87 at the drive in theatre in Pearl City, Hawaii.  A few girlfriends and some G.I. friends.  So whenever I see this movie it takes me back to some great memories.
 
I’m only fifteen minutes away from Luke Air Force Base, the largest fighter training base in the world.  Hmmmm…. maybe I should check out their club on base.  I could sure use some fun.  😉

Can You Drink The Sun?

Summer came officially on the 21st but it becomes official in Phoenix when we hit triple digits long before that.  So I thought it was fitting to give you the perfect cocktail for kicking off the season right.
 
Summer Sun

Ingredients:
– 1 oz Depaz Amber Rhum
– 1 oz Depaz Cane Syrup
– 1 oz Apple Juice
– 3/4 oz Fresh Lemon Juice
– Muddled Fresh Ginger
 
In a pint glass, add ginger peeled and diced, fresh lemon juice and Depaz Cane Syrup. Muddle the mixture until the ginger turns to mash. Add apple juice and Depaz Amber Rhum. Shake with ice and pour over fresh ice into a highball glass. Garnish with grated nutmeg and a flamed lemon peel.