Ask Auntie Martini Girl About The Porcelain Throne When She's Had Too Much To Drink

I miss my goddaughter.  I saw a post on someone’s blog about their little girl and it got me thinking of my good friends Shannon and Rod who are stationed in San Diego.  I have known them both way back when they were first dating in Hawaii.  They had chosen his sister and myself to be Godmothers for their daughter Ashley.  I have only gotten to see her a few times.
 
I remember when Shannon was going through a major surgery and I decided to surprise her.  I called up her husband and said that I would drive down while Shannon was in the hospital and would help them both out with taking care of Ashley.  He thought it was a great idea.  He’s a nurse in the Navy so this actually was a big help to him since he is usually on call a lot at the hospital.
 
I drove down, went grocery shopping, cooked, cleaned and took care of Ashley for a day while he worked and my friend was in the hospital recovering.  That little girl is something else.  She had me pretty entertained the entire day.  I think she was around six years old at the time.  We played dolls, played games and she played some songs on her guitar for me (she had been taking lessons) and was actually quite good.  She was a little wiz on the computer too.  She was a joy to be around.  She calls me Auntie Martini Girl which I adore.
 
She was a major slob though, like most kids.  I kept having to get on her about picking up and putting things away that she had earlier dragged out.  She whined of course and dilly dallied so I just eventually started cleaning everything and said over my shoulder down the hall, “Well you lost your chance to earn money.  Oh well.”  I could hear her from the living room calling out, “What??”  I yelled back, “Nothing.”  Then I could hear her tear down the hallway like the roadrunner and then she halted in the doorway of her room and said, “NO, you said something about money!”  “Too late now, I already did the work.” I told her.  She stood there with her hands on her hips and a look on her face that she couldn’t believe Auntie Martini Girl didn’t cave in to spoil her royal princess with money anyway.  Yep… I’m all about teaching the realities in life, even to the wee ones.  Heh heh heh.
 
Later Rod called from work and asked how everything was going.  He asked if Ashley was driving me crazy yet.  I laughed.  She wasn’t.  He updated me on when he was picking Shannon up and bringing her home.  When they came home, Shannon of course was pleasantly surprised to see me there.  She later told me, “I’m so glad you are here.  It actually makes me feel better.”
 
Later when we were sitting around the table eating dinner, Shannon was kind of shocked to find out that it was me that was with Ashley all day.  Just at the fact that I came down to do this for her and Rod I think touched her.  Then somehow it came up I was Ashley’s Godmother and Ashley didn’t realize this and said, “You are??”  I replied with a smile, “Yep, I’m the mean one.”  She didn’t quite know how to take my statement and eyed me.  She wasn’t quite sure if I was kidding or not.  Shannon was laughing.
 
In the evening Shannon, myself and Ashley were in the living room watching TV.  Ashley started to get a bit wound up, playing, singing, dancing, laughing and making a mess.  She started jumping on the sofa I was laying on and I said, “You better take it down a notch before your dad comes in here and whips that little A-S-S.”  No sooner did I finish spelling out ass when Rod walked in the room and saw her mess.  He had a look and tone of irritation and started telling her to clean up that mess. 
 
Now he didn’t yell at her or anything but he was obviously irritated.  So Ashley begins crying like she had been beaten severely.  Sooooo traumatic in a child’s life.  So dramatic.  I was doing everything in my power to keep from laughing and bit my lip.  Shannon who was on the other sofa, turned over, turned her head to face me and was smiling in amusement.  Ashley couldn’t see her mother’s face but could see mine and watching Shannon made me start smiling and soon laughing escaped.  This of course set Ashley off more through her crying, “YOU’RE LAUGHING AT ME!”  I couldn’t take it, I had to get up and go laugh in another room.  This made Shannon laugh too.  I think it’s funny that dad’s have this effect on their kids.  Those disciplinary meanies!  lol  But in all honesty, it’s totally needed in a child’s life.  But still very entertaining.
 
The next day when Rod was at work us three ladies were hanging out.  It wasn’t long before we were all in the guest bedroom where I was packing my stuff to go home.  We were giggling and being silly when Shannon says, “Oh yeah, well just ask Auntie Lori about the time with her and the MP.”  Ashley asked, “What’s an MP?” and I smiled and said, “Oh yeah well just ask mommy about Brian before she met your daddy.”  Ashley looked at her mom.  Shannon fired back with a smile, “Ask Auntie Martini Girl about hugging the porcelain throne when she’s had too much to drink.”  I came back with, “Ask mommy what tracers are.”  And smiled in total satisfaction at that one.  Ashley asked, “What are tracers?”  Shannon laughed and said, “Oh you are just evil for that.”  I just loving knowing people before they were parents. 
 
When I was saying good-bye both of them pleaded for me to stay longer but I needed to hit the road.  My sweet Goddaughter handed me a necklace she made for me and gave me a big kiss and hug.  She told me, “Thank you.  I love you Auntie Martini Girl.”  My heart just melted.
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One Response to “Ask Auntie Martini Girl About The Porcelain Throne When She's Had Too Much To Drink”

  1. Rick Says:

    That was really nice of you to do that for your friend. That whole bit about MP’s and tracers was a fucking riot.


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