Dating – Mr. Cocky

So I would like to ask you readers for some advice, both male and female.  I’m usually good at handling these types of things on my own but I’m just really curious to hear your take on this situation.  Pull up a tasty beverage because I have to give you the background.
 
When I first joined Match.com a man approached me with an email.  We’ll call him Mr. Cocky.  Now this guy stood out from many others on all the online dating sites that have winked, chatted or emailed me.  He was attractive, successful and didn’t seem real nit picky like a lot of others.  But that’s not what got my attention.  He wrote me instead of “winking” at me and he knew how to write a decent and intelligent email.  It was more than one sentence, wasn’t about sexual innuendos, and seemed genuinely interested.  Of course I know really clever men can be good at that with other intentions.  But still, it does turn my head at the effort.
 
So we exchanged a few emails and I gave him my phone number.  He called me that night.  We hit it off over the phone instantly.  The conversation flowed well and it was interesting, fun and we were laughing a lot.  I could tell this guy was very confident and I do like that.  I gave him a run for his money though.  I was a little cocky right back at him which I think got his interest.  So we set a date for that Wed.
 
We met at P.F. changs around 4pm.  We decided to just meet at the bar for drinks and if we felt it, we would play it by ear and maybe stay for dinner.  He was already waiting at the bar when I walked in and he was dressed casual but very nice.  I am impressed when men take the time and care to do that.  He had a huge smile when he saw me.  He hugged and kissed me when he greeted me.  Immediately he suggested we get a table and stay for dinner. 
 
We talked and did the regular getting to know you chit chat.  We talked about some funny dating experiences with Match.com.  We were hitting it off. 
 
But then he did something that really took me aback.  He started kissing me in the booth.  Now, it was hard to know how to react to this.  A huge part of me thought this wasn’t really cool at all.  It wasn’t cool because this was a first date, it was in the middle of a restaurant, not only early in the day but WAY too early in the date.  I mean we didn’t even have our food yet.  But what to do.  How to handle this.  It’s hard being a girl sometimes.  If I totally put up the wall and gently push him away then it gives a signal I might be a cold and uptight priss and not interested.  If I let him do it, does that say I’m an easy slut?  I mean I liked him.  I was interested.  I just thought it was a little odd.  Of course you only have split seconds to come to a conclusion when he is moving in for the kiss.  So I let him.
 
Throughout dinner we chatted more and laughed a bit.  He also kissed me two other times.  Again, I let him.  I wasn’t too comfortable with it.  I did take control by ending the kisses very quickly though.
 
After dinner we were outside the restaurant and he kissed me again.  In fact he seemed a little bit too enthusiastic and kissing me like we had been on four dates.  I had to then put my hands up and push him back and gently let him know that, no, we were not going there.  He then said he didn’t want to end the date and wanted to do something else.  I asked him what he would like to do and he suggested getting a movie and going to my place.  So of course I knew what he was after and immediately got turned off.  I told him no, he was not coming to my house.  He then tried to suggest other things like another bar, or going to a movie etc.  At that point I told him that hey, we don’t have to rush things.  Let’s end the date but go on another.  He asked if I would like to see him again and I said sure.  I can’t fault men for wanting sex.  I’m willing to go on another date with this guy because we seem to hit it off.  So he tells me he’ll call me tomorrow evening to plan something for the weekend.
 
The guy never called.  So that tells me all he wanted was just to bang me.  Or he was pissed at me for turning him down.
 
The following week he called me.  We chatted a bit and I did bring up that I couldn’t help feel he was a bit “fast” on a first date with me.  He laughed.  He said he got busy with work and that’s why he didn’t call me back.  Yeah right.  I know better.  But… we ended up talking on the phone one more time and he said let’s go on a 2nd date and that he would call me again to set it up.  He did the same exact thing as before and never called me.
 
Well obviously this guy is a little full of himself and not really interested in me as a person to “date.”  He did call me back the following week and left a message.  I didn’t return his call.  Sorry but I’m not going to tolerate that shit.
 
Then about a month and a half later I came home to see that Mr. Cocky left me a message out of the blue.  He was funny and charming on the message.  I deleted it and didn’t return his call.  I have also seen that he views my profile on Match from time to time.  Of course I ignore it and don’t reciprocate.
 
So…. that brings me to now.  It’s been another 3 or 4 months now since his last message and I get a Match.com email out of the blue from Mr. Cocky.
 
What’s going on? Give me a call I’d like to hear from you.
Mr. Cocky
602-XXX-XXXX
 
I’m floored.  This guy has some balls.
 
I have to admit I’m a bit curious about him contacting me again.  Is he genuinely interested and just figured he’d try one more time?  Is he just that scared or inexperienced with how to date?  But on the other hand, I’m thinking he’s just horny and rich and thinks I’ll just be “grateful” a man like that is emailing me.  Part of me wants to ignore, delete and not look back.  But another part of me is thinking I should respond… hmmm… but how to respond.  I’m thinking my response should be “What for?  So you can call me and pretend you’ll take me out on another date just to hear me say yes and boost your ego?  No thanks.”  Or play dumb and just find out what this jackass’s intentions are.
 
At one point a while back, I joked with my friend Barb about this and said, “Watch… this guy will end up being my husband or some such shit.”  Then her and I cracked up.  Now months later I get this email and it makes it even more funny.
 
So what do you think readers?  I’m curious to hear your opinions.  Especially men.  I know I have readers out there from looking at my stats, so leave a comment.  I already have an idea of what you’ll probably say, but I’m still curious.
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7 Responses to “Dating – Mr. Cocky”

  1. Michael Says:

    I think you know that the guy just wants to use you for a good time, so you’ve got two basic responses at hand. Either toss him to the curb because you’re not looking for that or decide to use him back. Only you know which path is best for you.

  2. John Says:

    I’m going to have to agree with Michael, Lori. At the very least, this is just weird behavior, a sure sign of a weird dude. I have to admit that way back before I met the fetching Mrs. McJ (whom you know as Christa,) I regretted not being a bit MORE forward on dates that were initiated by my perusal of the personals in the New Times. I had always required an engraved invitation to initiate a face-smashing session, fearing the rejection I’d face if I blundered by laying one on an unsuspecting and unwilling date. Makes me wonder if Mr. Cocky had felt a similar regret, and went to bed the night before your first date with him saying, “doggonit, I’m going to kiss that girl tomorrow – no more chickening out!” Probably not, though.

    From your description, he appears to be a pretty serious horn dog. On the other hand, it’s possible that he’s ready to be a monogamous horn dog. My gut, however, is that this is not the case. I’d go with Michael’s advice. If you just want some physical attention, this is your man, but my gut instinct is to not expect much in the way of commitment.

  3. Vox Says:

    Shiny Shiny posted an xkcd comic on the subject…sort of
    http://www.shinyshiny.tv/2008/08/xkcd.html

  4. Martini Girl Says:

    Michael and John – yup pretty much my thoughts. I may just send him a sarcastic note anyway for the hell of it.

    Vox – LOL good point.

  5. 3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) Says:

    I’m always late to the party, Lori. But from my experiences on internet dating sites, I’d stick him in the files under “Player” and “flake.”

    My husband started out on the internet dating sites, doing just that. Not a flake, but definitely a player. (He just didn’t know who he was messin’ with!) 😉

    The dating sites can be fun, though. Once you work your way through the married men out looking for fun, the flakes, the little boys who want a mommy to take care of them, the liars and the nut jobs. (To be fair, there’s just as many women on them that fall under those categories as well. As told by the hubby)

    My guestimation(based on his sporadic calls and emails) is Mr. Cocky is juggling more than a few women from these sites.

    Just my two cents, for what it’s worth.

    3T

  6. Determined Or Up To No Good? « Desert Martini Says:

    […] August 13, 2008 @ 8:27 pm } · { Single & Fabulous } { } So remember I told you about Mr. Cocky?  Well I didn’t call him like he asked but I did email him back early this morning with a […]

  7. Wants To Have His Cake And Eat It Too « Desert Martini Says:

    […] and I tell ya, it’s getting very interesting.  If you don’t know the background read this first then this.   So after Mr. Cocky left that message on Wed I finally called him tonight.  We […]


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