On September 10th the number 39 will come into my life. Where the hell did this number come from, who invited it and how did it get here? The good news is that it is still in the thirties. But damn, it’s the last one! I don’t like that. Oh we all know that 40 is the new 30 and I should be rejoicing and all that shizz right? Hmmm….
Well I suppose I could write out a long and dreary post about how it sucks to get older, still single, blah, blah, blah… but I think not. Fuck that shit.
Thirty Nine. Hot damn! Time to continue to stay up late, sleep in, eat Ho-Ho’s and Snowballs, drink till I puke, get laid, watch porn, tease men on dating sites and collect my unemployment checks to spend on Lotto tickets and lip gloss. Wow…. so this is what it’s like to be a Democrat eh?
All kidding aside… I’m in good spirits. After all thirty nine is “season, not sagging.” I’ve accomplished quite a lot, I look younger than I am, I have a young attitude, and younger men are now chasing my ass. I’m single and fabulous because no one has been swift enough to catch me yet. What’s not to like about turning 39?
And who knows… maybe the Birthday Fairy will drop a job in my lap. And since were on the subject of giving…. buy me some glittery girl bling from my Amazon wish list. Too expensive? A book or CD will do just nicely. Flowers… offering to cut down my tree… marriage proposals… those are all favorable too.
One thing is for sure, change is in the air for me and in all directions of my life. Some good and some challenging. Well bring it on beeyaches! I’m so ready to kick change in the ass, dominate it and make it my bitch!
Bring me a pink martini and CUE MY NEW THEME MUSIC!