Cell Phone Conversational Charmer

Some dude approached me on MySpace – we’ll call him motorcycle guy.  He didn’t have too much to say but at least his email was decent.  After a couple of emails he said he wanted to take me out for a martini.  I told him to call me on the phone first to see if we felt comfortable.  So he did.
I hate drivers on their cells and this guy was talking to me while driving.  I hate that.  The conversation is distracting.
What was worse is the way he charms me.  We were basically having the regular getting to know you chit chat and then this took place.
Him:  Yeah your pictures intrigued me.  I like brunettes.  I don’t date blondes.
Me:  Oh so don’t like the Barbie Doll types?
Him:  No
Me:   I guess your type is more the Bettie Page type of girl.
Him:  Yes.  Oh yeah, she had a cute little body on her back in the day.
Me:  Well I’m afraid I don’t have that small figure.  *laughs*
Him:  Well the cure to that is to do some walking and put down the ice cream.
Me:  …..
Him:  Uh… yeah but I need to do that too.
Me:  …..
Him:  That’s why I try to hike a lot.  I usually go to… (he goes on babbling about where he hikes).  It’s good for you.
Me:  That’s nice. 
Him:  So uh… (asks some other question and just sounds distracted)
Me:  Are you in your car?
Him:  Yes.  I’m on my way to (blah, blah, blah)
Me:  Why don’t you give me a call this evening when you are at home.
Him:  Ok, good idea.  Talk with you soon.
Now I have no idea if this guy will call me back or not and frankly, really don’t know if I want to hear from him again.  But wasn’t that lovely that he was telling me about putting down the ice cream and walking?  And this is a guy who is trying to ask a girl he has never met out on a date.  Charming.
I wonder if men would like it if us women said they need to use viagra, dick pumps and rogain.

6 Responses to “Cell Phone Conversational Charmer”

  1. EricB Says:

    What a hunk of stale, dull and tired humanity. I’ll force feed him ice cream until his brain freezes and slash him!!

  2. Martini Girl Says:

    EricB – slash him across the ass cheeks will ya?

    Lincoln – Yes smooth is the word isn’t it. Is that from Austin Powers? bahahahaha

    Barbi – I know right? I have a good mind to link his damn myspace page on this post for the extra satisfaction of my readers laughing at him.

  3. Lincoln Says:

    Smooooooooooooooooth. And I’m the one who’s dateless? Good grief.

  4. Lincoln Says:

    I wonder if men would like it if us women said they need to use viagra, dick pumps and rogain.

    That’s NOT MINE!!

  5. justbarbi Says:

    OMG Danger zone. I am LMFAO over here…. That is a vivid visual. The prick deserves it!! LOLOLOL

    Martini what the frick is wrong with people? WTF says something like that? Dont even answer the phone if this douche calls you back… What an ass..

  6. justbarbi Says:

    Well if you dont link it here you have to send it in E mail to me… I have to witness this jackass myself.

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