Today I had to say good-bye to my dearest friends and her family. I am sitting here and can’t believe they are gone today. It doesn’t seem real and yet as I think about their house now being empty when just hours ago it was furnished, I’m so very angry. I’m angry because of why they had to pack up and move. These times in our country and economy have me so sickened, disgusted and bitterly angry at this point. It’s sad beyond words.
I met Barb almost 3 years ago when I was in search of a new nail tech to do my nails. We hit is off INSTANTLY. We got each other. It seemed like we had a lot in common even though really we didn’t all that much. It was just automatically easy to talk with her. I can’t explain it without it sounding so corny but it was like pure magic and like we had known each other. Friendships like this are very, very rare. Sure you make friends at work or through relatives, in-laws, organizations you join, neighbors, etc. Some you get on pretty darn well with but when you find that one true friend inside and out, it’s extremely rare, especially in your adult years.
That girl knows the true me, and I do mean the true me. I can tell her anything without hiding behind anything or worry about what she is thinking. If I were to do the most shameful and hideous acts, I could still tell her and be ok with that. I really like her honesty too. It is so cool to me that she can be comfortable enough to call me and cancel something we have planned because she’s just not feeling it instead of coming up with a BS excuse. I never understood why people always feel they have to make up stuff and give me BS in situations like that. She will still apologize for it and I always tell her not to because hey, sometimes you just don’t feel like it and that’s normal. I dig that honesty with her. I also value her opinions on things. She is that person looking in from the outside of my bubble and will be straight forward and wise with her take.
Over time I got to know Barb’s husband and 3 wonderful children and I fell in love with her family. Her husband is such a cool dude with a great sense of humor and the kids are an added bonus. Even their dogs love me! lol
I think what I’ll miss most is the incredible laughter we had. I have to say some of the things that have come out of our mouths would put Sex and the City to shame in both shock material and in wit. I don’t think I have laughed this much and this hard on a consistent basis since I was a teenager. I’m talking the most obnoxious laughter ever. The loud and long laughs, the hooping and hollering, the knee slapping and clapping, the laughter that is so hard that your face gets red and you have tears in your eyes and you can’t breathe. I’ve even laid in bed at night thinking of something funny we said earlier that day to then find myself laughing my ass off out loud in the dark. When she used to do my nails in the salon, everyone that worked there would always stop by and ask what in the world we were laughing at. They either secretly wanted to be in on our circle or secretly stab us to death.
Even in the midst of us bawling our eyes out as she walked me to the car today, she managed to get a line in that made us laugh our butts off in that sucky moment. It was one of my famous lines I’m always saying to her when things get chaotic or if we are walking out the door and the kids ask where we are going. Or I’ll turn to her and say it when the when the family is driving her batty, “So… Las Vegas?” Our fantasy of just the two of us jumping in my car to Vegas on a whim and leaving everyone and everything behind forever, while the two of us live it up with boozing, gambling and men. It was so spot on as we were right next to the packed up Uhaul truck, with the family inside and us heading towards my car in that moment. It was the final chance for escape.
Most of my life I was always the one doing the leaving. Base to base, school to school, city to city. Friends always complained I was the person scratched out the most in their address books because of all my moving. Moving is hard and but good too. I was usually ok with good-byes and leaving to go on to another place. But this time the shoe is on the other foot. This is the 2nd friend that is moving so far away due to this crap we are all dealing with. Now that someone I believe is my perfect friend soul mate, she is moving far away. Of course we’ll still be in touch and they may come back after awhile. But I think she and I were key for each other here and especially now. Now I’m alone in the situation. How very unfortunate. It makes me think of that line in the Shawshank Redemption where Morgan Freeman’s character is talking about how much more drab a place is when his friend is gone.
I had written the family letters and had arranged for some really cool CD’s for them to listen to on the road but my printer broke and I couldn’t get any of the CD’s to burn properly. I was so mad. So this morning before they left, I was trying to remember the things I said in my letters and just say them. Of course not two words got out of my mouth when I broke out crying. The “ugly” cry too. It’s ridiculous when that happens because you have important things to say and the emotion and crying have other plans for you simultaneously. I managed to spit some things out. I’ll have to email their letters to them and wait for their arrival to Iowa to read them.
Why in the midst of all this garbage does it have to be my soul friend, who has been a godsend in all this mess have to the be one who moves away??? I will miss you D fam-damily! And I will miss you most of all Scarecrow.