Left To My Own Devices

I’m bored and full of energy and spunk right now.  Not a good combination for me actually.  Having this combination makes me very restless, especially on my days off.  Especially when I’m alone with no plans.  It makes me a little more risk taking than usual.  Now I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  It’s both I guess.  Good because sometimes risk taking makes things fun, adventurous, different and does open some new doors sometimes.  You run into things you didn’t expect that can be positive.  Then the flip side of that is risk taking makes me a little too free and wild and well… risk taking.  I guess that can still be good but sometimes makes me a bad girl.  I don’t know what it is but the older I get the more I don’t care how it looks but more how it feels.  It’s kind of freeing in a way.
When I don’t have any grounded plans or I wait for things that don’t seem to come, I get extremely restless.  Like I want to throw caution to the wind and do some wild things that I normally don’t do.  Part of me wants to say screw it, drive to Vegas right now and throw my entire paycheck on the roulette table and bet on black or red.  There is always that 50/50 chance of doubling my money or losing it all.  This is the kind of thinking I never really had in my early 30’s or 20’s.    Part of me would want to take the winnings and head over to the male strip club and indulge in some cocktails and… cocktails.  heh heh  Actually no, I’d take the winnings home for sure in this day and age with my employment situation.  It would still be a fun ass random thing to do though.
Part of me thinks about jumping online tonight with my cam.  To tease and torture all the boys in the worst way for my own entertainment and pleasure make new online friends.
Another part of me feels like driving down to the base tonight and seeing if I can get in the NCO or Officer’s club.  I never tried to get into one as a civilian so I don’t know what the policy is on Luke Air Force base.  I know back in the day in Hawaii all you needed was a soldier to sign you in – we did that with some of my civilian friends back then.  I smile at that thinking if that is still the case then it wouldn’t be a problem standing out front and asking some sex hungry studs nice guys to sign me in.  I would be going in alone too – don’t have any single girlfriends to invite.  But that’s ok, I think it would be even more fun to go alone and check things out.  I’m sure I’d be a girl who’s easier to hunt approach without all her posse around if you know what I mean.  Even if I couldn’t get on the club on base, there are some bars/clubs right outside the base that I could drop in for a drink right?  I’ve never been to any of them but I used to drive by them at night on the way to my parents house when they lived over by the base.  Lots of men hanging out in them enjoying their beers and music and possibly watching sports.  Nothing like being out numbered by the opposite sex sometimes.  What?  I just want to meet new friends and know how football is played.  *bats eyelashes*
You see?  I’m being bad just thinking this stuff but I can’t help it.  I’m left to my own devices.  I don’t have a guy in my life to occupy my time or tame me right now.  All my friends have moved away.   Top if off with my age, hormones and singleness and there you go.  So I get restless like this.  I’m going to do something tonight, tomorrow or tomorrow night.  Don’t know what it is but something because I’m coming out of my skin.

One Response to “Left To My Own Devices”

  1. Barbi Says:

    HAHA!! I know the feeling. I am coming unglued myself. 14 people in a house is enough to make one insane! Keep me posted on what you end up doing! I miss you so much!

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