All Is Not Secure

I tried going to bed early tonight.  Not really early but just a bit early and all I did was toss and turn.  I feel restless.  I can’t stop moving my legs and feet and I noticed yesterday and today I can’t seem to sit still.  My rear feels like it’s falling asleep and I have these urges to get up and walk, move, run, anything but sitting or laying or standing still.  I think it’s some sort of anxiety.  I had this once before when there was a lot of major things/stresses going on in my life and at the time my Doctor told me it was anxiety.
I don’t understand why.  I have a job now, I’m able to keep my home so I should be feeling secure.  All this change has messed me up or something.  Maybe I’m scared I can still lose it all or something.  Maybe I’m not feeling satisfied with my life or something.
I’m laying in my bed and even the nice breeze, wind chimes or the fighter pilots overhead are not lulling me to sleep like they usually do.  I can’t lay still and I’m throwing the sheets on me then off me.  I’m on my side, my back, my stomach, my other side and on and on.  I don’t feel safe.  Something’s missing.  Why am I anxious now?

**Update:  It’s just after 3am and I have tossed and turned all night without any sleep.  I have to get up in two hours and I have my first training class.  Brilliant.  Just brilliant.


2 Responses to “All Is Not Secure”

  1. Tracy Says:

    Try not to let anxiety rob you of sleep, that’ll only cause you to feel worse. Figure out an anxiety coping method that works for you and get your needed rest!

  2. Martini Girl Says:

    To be honest Tracy, I’m not even sure why I’m feeling anxiety. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe I’m nervous I’ll be back in a position I was. Or maybe it’s my love life. I’ll probably take two Benadryl’s tonight to make sure I sleep.

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