I Thought Everyone Would Be Rushing to Help

sadbrideIt’s funny how after I got engaged I thought it would be more fun, as a girl anyway.  You know, the looking through Brides magazines, having a shower, making engagement pictures, registering, shopping for things like the dress, the shoes the veil, picking my colors and theme and such.  Yet it has been the loneliest engagement.

My fiancée is in another state getting things wrapped up so we haven’t been together.  Just a small trip where we got the marriage licensee together.  We were supposed to have a friend take some pictures for us during that trip as well so we could use as engagement pictures here but that seemed to not materialize after she offered to do it for us.  It was doubly sad because I figured it would be some time for her and my guy get to know each other a bit.  Had I known it was an empty offer, I would have then made plans with someone else and then I would have engagement pictures.

My mom has been sick.  So she just didn’t have the energy, desire or just feel well enough to be involved in anything.  Even though finally my mom has gotten better and has more of her energy back, she still doesn’t seem to be reaching out to do things with me about the wedding.  I call and she doesn’t call back.  She doesn’t seem to ask me much about the wedding plans or just call or email me much.  I really don’t know why.  Most of my engagement she was sick – so I did everything by myself or had my fiancée help me through long distance emails or calls in helping to pick things out.  But it just isn’t the same with him not here.

So I registered by myself at the stores.  It would have been nice to share that with someone like a friend or my mom or my fiancée.  I can’t even do anything with my future sister in law or mother in law as they live overseas.

None of my personal friends offered to throw me a shower.  A couple of co-workers from work offered and are going to do it.  It just surprised me that my friends didn’t offer.  At one point I asked my mom if we could have the shower at her and my dad’s place.  They have the perfect home and space for entertaining and she seemed to not like that idea at all and tried to get me to look at different restaurants to host the shower at.  So again, something else I was to research on my own.  Something I should not be researching for the bridal shower.  To be honest that sort of made me mad.  I don’t want my guests to pay for food when they are buying me a wedding gift for my shower so just told the hostess let’s have it at her place.  My place is too small.  That honestly bothered me that my mom didn’t want it at her house.  Maybe my mom is just too tired and old and so she just doesn’t want to do this stuff.

Then I was supposed to go hunting for my cowboy boots to wear with the wedding dress this weekend.  My friend offered to do that with me.  Sounds like fun right?  So when the time came it didn’t happen again.  So I went by myself as usual.  All of my life I do seem to do things alone.  I guess I’m going to shop by myself for my dress and veil too.  I’m sure when people come to find out I picked out my dress and veil without asking them, they’ll seem all hurt and shocked I didn’t ask them.

Maybe I’m being selfish or uber sensitive.  I don’t know.  I don’t get it.  I thought when a lady gets engaged, her friends and family gush and rush to do these things with her and want to share in these things.  I just don’t know.  I get that the world can’t revolve around me and other people have their own problems and lives and all.  I get that.  I guess I’m just mistaken about how this was supposed to go and I’m really getting emotional about it.  Maybe it’s my hormones.  Maybe I just got married too late in life when everyone is older and on with their lives too deeply.  I’m sure had I been in my 20’s maybe it would be different.  Maybe I expect too much.  Whatever it is, it still hurts my feelings.

I Said Yes

engaged1

I’m Not the Average Girlfriend

A couple of months ago I had a texting conversation with my Rambo.  I kept meaning to post it but weeks of work travel took up my focus.

Rambo:  I registered to vote today.

Me:  You did?

Rambo:  Yeah I needed to get that done so I could vote in Texas now.

Me:  That’s hot.  You are turning me on.

This Little Piggy Went on a Jeep Tour

I finally got the pictures up from when Rambo came to visit.  I had most of these on facebook but I added a few more here on my flickr account.

 

Rambo Goes to Arizona!

Yes my Rambo finally got to come and see me on his 15 days of leave from Afghanistan.  It was soooo nice to have him here and get to spend time with him.  I’ve missed him so much!  It was such a long flight for him and I know he was weary from it.  He was actually on the very last R&R flight coming in and flying out of the Dallas airport.  The flights going forward will be coming and going from Atlanta, GA.  It was a big deal and on the news when his flight arrived in Dallas because of the welcoming volunteers.  They greeted every single flight coming in with troops since the start of the wars.  He got to meet the medal of honor winner who was there as well.  Here is the video of them coming in and here is the video of them leaving the other day.  He’s not in the videos sad to say but he was on that flight.

We did a lot of eating out, dinner with my parents a few times, caught a Spring Training game at the Peoria Stadium, went to the Renaissance Festival, walked around Westgate, walked around old town Glendale, went to the park in Peoria, and enjoyed a drive and stay in Sedona where we did the famous Pink Jeep Tour.  Then of course there were days we just stayed in and relaxed and caught a movie at home.

It was nice to see him smiling and laughing and being able to relax.  They don’t get ANY days off in their war deployments.  I think my favorite things we did was going to Sedona but I’m guessing his favorite thing was making a few trips to the Cost Plus World Market store!  Haha  This way he could get candy, soda and beer from different countries including Aussie Licorice.  I know he misses his home country’s eats and treats.

Now that he is gone, I have to say it blows.  I miss him and the weekend has been dull without my guy.  Thankfully he only has a few months left and will be returning to Texas.

I’ll be posting pictures of his visit on my Flickr soon.

Happy New Year

Tonight I’m staying in and cooking and drinking and watching some good movies.  It’s my own little tradition as I don’t like to be out on the roads with others who have been drinking.  I may do some cleaning in the evening and getting some things organized, what better night to do that on.

I’ll be making some honey mustard chicken wings, black-eyed peas, cabbage and cornbread.  All foods are for luck and wealth if eaten on New Year’s day, except for the chicken wings – those can be bad luck so I’ll eat them well before midnight.  I’ll also make an orange sherbet champagne punch.

Speaking of luck and superstitions, here are some I found interesting for New Years.  I’m so glad I kissed my boyfriend at the stroke of midnight in his timezone in Afghanistan.  Even though it was still a cyber kiss on instant messenger!  I will probably email him another one when it’s midnight here in Arizona.

Kissing at midnight:   We kiss those dearest to us at midnight not only to share a moment of celebration with our favorite people, but also to ensure those affections and ties will continue throughout the next twelve months. To fail to smooch our significant others at the stroke of twelve would be to set the stage for a year of coldness.

Stocking Up:   The new year must not be seen in with bare cupboards, lest that be the way of things for the year. Larders must be topped up and plenty of money must be placed in every wallet in the home to guarantee prosperity.

Paying Off Bills:   The new year should not be begun with the household in debt, so checks should be written and mailed off prior to January 1st. Likewise, personal debts should be settled before the New Year arrives.

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Traditional Gal

This morning I got up pretty late and yet my Rambo was still up in Afghanistan.  So we were able to chat a bit on instant messenger.  I’d say 5 min. after we said goodnight, a half a dozen pink roses arrived at my doorstep.  What an awesome surprise!  They had the sweetest and heart-felt message from him too.

The roses are Beautiful light pink and they smell wonderful.  I always forgot how wonderful roses smell.  I love pink too.  I’m definitely a traditional girl and so I adore things like this.  I can never get enough and I never take it for granted.  I love you Rambo.